my master plan

I am still me, but I've changed tremendously as well. Right now, at this exact moment, I feel like I am the best version of me possible. I know that sounds cheesy, but it's true. All my neuroses, my worrying and anxiety, and over-thinking; all those things don't exist for me right now. I am just so estatic that I have all my mental faculties intact and that I'm getting healthy again. I will never sweat the small stuff again!

So I hope.

Before Romut, there were tons of things I didn't like about myself. My overachiever-ness. The way I'd over-analyze something to death. The way I'd censor myself. How afraid I was to talk to people. I just didn't like me and was always trying to change me. I'm really scared that I'll return to the way I was, because right now I feel so free. And I am so happy with who I am! It's actually amazingly liberating. It's too bad that it had to take Romut to see things the way I do now.

But back to my master plan.

I still have my drive and ambition, but without all that other noise that accompanies it. The one called family and common sense (or I should say Parents). I have decided that I am going to go back to work, save up about 30 - 40 000, then summarily quit my job and act until I run out of $$$$. As long as I have enough money saved up, there's no way my mom can complain. And I figure that it's now or never. I owe it to myself to give it a try. Even if it doesn't go anywhere, there's no way I can have any regrets. And this is the perfect time. I'm still single and childless, so it doesn't get any better than that. After Romut, there's no way an audition can scare me now. R u kidding? I feel freakin' fearless.

My backup plan is to get an HR certificate and find a decent paying HR job once I'm sick of bumming around as a struggling wannabe actress. So there, I haven't gone all crazy on all of you!

Anyways, there you have it. It'll probably take me a year or so to save up that much $$$, but it'll be the best thing I've ever done for myself. I'm so excited!!!!

Ahhhhh. Life is beautiful. It really is.